برای اون‌هایی که بیرون از ایران نشستن، تو خونه‌هایی که هنوز قسطش مال بانکه، حالا هیهات‌هیهات می‌زنن و “وطن، وطن” فریاد می‌کشن: اگه جمهوری اسلامی وطن بود، شما فراری نبودین. وطن جایی نیست که دخترهاش برای زنده موندن و مهاجرت، تن‌فروشی کنن. جایی نیست که زن و مرد و کارگر و نویسنده و شاعر، تو صف اعدام باشن. وطن اون‌جایی نیست که زندان و شکنجه و تجاوز، قانون باشه. وطن تبعید نمی‌کنه، وطن ترور نمی‌کنه. وطن توی جنگ، مردمشو سپر نمی‌کنه، ازشون دفاع می‌کنه. جمهوری اسلامی هیچ‌وقت وطن نبوده؛ فقط یه خاک اشغال‌شده‌ست با پرچم دروغ. ما سال‌هاست که وطن نداریم؛ نه من در غربت، نه شما در جهنمِ داخل. این جنگ، جنگ ما نیست؛ جنگیه که جمهوری اسلامی و سپاه تروریستش به ما تحمیل کردن. امروز دنیای عرب هم کنار دنیای غرب، ایستاده جلوی این هیولای پوسیده، و این سیلی بزرگیه به صورت اون‌هایی که سال‌ها می‌خواستن “دنیای اسلام” رو ضد یهود نشون بدن. امروز، هیولای تروریستی به نام جمهوری اسلامی، از همیشه ضعیف‌تر، داره جلوی چشم‌هامون ذره‌ذره له می‌شه. نه با دعا، نه با شعار، نه با دروغ؛ بلکه با حقیقت تاریک جنگ، با خشم، و با مقاومت مردم. و مقصر این سیاهی، فقط و فقط جمهوری خونخوار اسلامیه.

I have nothing to say as an artist, I’m not interested in what I know. The job of an artist is not to do with what we know. To me the artist is like a fool, an idiot, going on a journey to discover something and I think the quality of that discovery is the mysterious mythology of an artist and that’s what I’m doing. 

I go to my studio and work on something, and something happens, and then I say Ahh! This is what it means – this is what it is about – and then you make something, and then some months later you are in your studio again and you make something else… and it’s about the same thing. There is in a way a constant continuum  that gives up the same question again and again, so those are the questions to me; the void object or the none object, and  then – many questions about color, question about space and time and etc. . Because I do believe there has to be a new object, there has to be a new space and after post-structuralist philosophers, what is the object in psychoanalysis after all? What is the state of the object? Hence, these are the things that keep coming up all the time. 

One of the things that I’m interested in is the idea that the object is unlimited – the physical object always has a non-physical counterpart – and the two are in some strange dialogue. But when it’s right, the physical object is not limited by its physical self. You know if we think about ourselves or our body as an object we occupy ourselves, but I know I’m not just my skin and I think the same is true of all those things that we reflect upon as art. It’s a very special condition, the possibility of the objects being something other, I’m interested in that. 

Our sense of vision is very good, very quick in telling the difference between something that is real and something that is not real. Real meaning here is not actual, but a meaning well conceived, well thought about, well made, well, and perhaps even let’s say spiritually real. We know the difference, so I think that’s difficult to make. The difficulty of the art object that has to be psychically real, even though it has a problematic relationship with reality itself, if you can still decipher what I mean by now. 

I’m very interested in color, as well as other mythological things. There are two ways that I try to deal with color; one of them is that I try to make the condition in color so it’s not a painted surface anymore – it’s a condition that is concrete in such a way that it occupies the whole space of your vision. It’s almost as if you are going to the shower the water comes down on you, you are wet. I want to make something that has the same quality as concrete so it’s a total condition. The other aspect about color is that it changes – especially as a very intense monochrome – it’s as if it makes more space;  I’m interested in that as a question. That the color is abstract, while we are associating color with natural things, in its essence the color always remains abstract and it is that abstract quality that makes space. 

Art is not to be interesting –  art has to provoke philosophical questions – even if we don’t know that the questions are philosophical. In that process of reflection between the work and the viewer in this coming and going, something happens that is maybe as poetic, maybe complicated indeed. To take this further,  I must bring forth that I am also inspired by architecture at my roots; architecture exists to create the physical environment in which people live, but architecture is more than just the built environment, it’s also a part of our culture. It stands as a representation of how we see ourselves, as well as how we see the world.

اینجا که می نویسم ینی خیلی درموند ه م. سالها میشه اینجا ننوشتم. همسایه طبقه پایینم امروز رفت استکهلم که پارتنرش رو ببینه. با هم خیلی نزدیکیم تقریبا درباره همه چیز حرف می زنیم از درد پریود من تا فوکو و هایدگر و این که دفعه قبل موقع رد شدن از کاستم به خاطر داشتن وید گرفتنش اما هر بار باز با خودش وید می بره البته به سگش جُوجُو خیلی نزدیکترم، جُوجُو رو گذاشت خونه یکی دیگه از بچه ها خب من کار می کنم نمی تونستم نگهش دارم اما فردا می رم باهاش بازی میکنم۰

من اصولا آدم قانون مندی هستم، ینی به قانون احترام می ذارم. یه سری ترس های معمولی دارم مثل این که نکنه یه وقت کارم یا آپارتمانی رو که توش زندگی می کنم از دست بدم. امروز فهمیدم یه ترس به ترس هام اضافه شده اونم اینه که اگه در کلاس باز شد و یهویی یکی از بچه ها با اسلحه اون طرف در وایساده بود باید چی کار کنم؟ جوابی ندارم۰

Sun has gone black in United States of America and moon has gone black in Tehran.

[both sides are captured by darkness]

No one can look back on her school days and say with truth that they were altogether melancholic. I have perfect memories of my writing class among a horde of icky ones. I closed my eyes today, and I’m not going to open them for hours, probably till the next morning. I hear the music casting is in the air, it’s coming from the air conditionair behind my head. Recently, I conducted a sort of hopeless love affair with stars* and the only remaining  kiosk along the boardwalk in Venice Beach. There was the joy of watching late just watching, somewhat staring on summer’s nights and getting in an hour’s undisturbed drawings. Unexpectedly all my imaginations got destroyed by a blue and red rocket, since then I take sleeping pills every night. As a child, the things I most wanted to do were always unattainable. I had learned early in my life: I have the skill to let go.

[my room is captured by magic]

I see even with closed eyes.

6 weeks ago

“Let’s face it. We’re undone by each other.” Let’s practice to not play a role of a victim. For too much pain that I had inside I knew that I was missing something. Gynecologist such a hard word for my Iranian accent to pronounce, She said the embryo is dead.  There’s no hope,only one way, to take it out: D N C.

Let’s practice to not play fragile as a woman! Let’s celebrtae the emptiness of 3000 years in gold & marble! Let’s celebrate misogyny! Let’s celebrate Skid Row in downtown Los Angeles 3 million time.

For what you eat and wear from this world,
You have vindication, if you try to gain it.
The rest all cost nothing even for free, Be aware,                                                                         Not to sell your precious life for that                                                                                                  ” Khayyám”

Today is a very sad day for United States of America and for immigrants like myself, who immigrated for hope. We became refugees to this country in order to settle, study and then to take-up employment. Trump’s travel ban generally prohibited or severely restricted immigration from countries suffering tyranny. If people with authoritarian leaders are banned from entering this country, then what makes America great again?! In fact, people from those countries, who were banned today, are the most scared and vulnerable, never been involved in any act of terrorism in the United States.

The whole air is heavily charged with fears of our unprincipled leaders: desire of being secured that kills democracy. I love Los Angeles for people, who treat each others with respect, despite their race, color of their skin or ideological commitment.

Dear me;It’s that time of the year I should confess by far I can’t write, I don’t really feel like talking to anyone these days I don’t trust my passport anymore. Wish you could tell me what’s happening to me? It’s 9; 51 I’m in this room still writing my thesis, struggling not to think about my deadlines it’s a quiet room I can’t write in my own room anymore. I’m transforming in to something icy I guess. I was just imagining how Liberia and Siberia sounds poetic as one they both speak together. If I could talk to her in Korean I would have told her life is too short drink some wine tonight then smile to the world that’s what I’ve been told and it worked for me. Could you please tell her for me? He picks up the envelope; he looks in to my eyes,I believe he is talking to me I’m trying to pick up his voice, sounds soft and low I’ve already missed half of the conversation, as always, when I catch him I hear; where is the destination of this letter I take a deep breath trying to pretend I’m calm though anyone could see the pink flame in my eyes by now, I say “No destination”, No destination is quite a destination he continues, they have asked for two quite different types & it’s been days I’m wondering why. Is United States a different country? he picks the envelope instantly, continues what is the difference? I hate to say that he reminds me of my childhood; “God created critical thinking so that I could travel to my childhood” Then I come back to my writing how I wish I were in New York tonight for all is crazy in there. My mind is still in the crit room, my phone never rings again.

Attention, Attention the sign hearing declares danger or red status meaning that the air strike will be done! Leave your room/office and go to the shelter!

اُزیریس ایزد جهان زیرزمینی و زندگی پس از مرگ در اساطیر مصر باستان بود. او فرزند گب (زمین) و نوت (آسمان) بود. با خواهرش ایزیس ازدواج کرد و صاحب حوروس شد. برادرش ست (شب) او را کشت. اما زنده شد و خدای اموات گشت. ارواح قبل از اینکه بتوانند در جهان دیگر زندگی کنند، باید از برابر ازیریس بگذرند و تنها او بود که می‌توانست جاودانگی ببخشد

 Known here as the “bible” of theatre.